Ohio State University Fact Sheet
Family Life Month Packet 1999
Family and Consumer Sciences
Campbell Hall 1787 Neil Avenue Columbus, Ohio 43210
Fact Sheet
Reducing Conflict Over Child Support
Diane Johnson, Extension Agent, Family and Consumer Sciences, Darke County
Common Fantasies
"She should be able to manage to take care of the kids on $200.00 per month." "There's a new van in his driveway. I guess that's why he can't pay child support." "They have a new boat. Now I know where the child support goes that I pay." "She had on a new outfit. I'll bet she spent the child support on it."
The truth is that these fantasies are often easier to accept than the fact that both parents are in a precarious financial position after divorce. There is no automatic tracking system that follows the child support money as it goes toward food, clothes, shelter, education, and general maintenance and passes through the family account.
Realities of the Financial Divorce
The family is not only the basic unit for socialization and education of children, it is also the basic economic unit of our society. A divorce signals not only a change in how children are raised, but it also changes the economic resources available to these children.
Possibly the most explosive issue in the divorce process and in the post divorce period is money. If financial disagreements were a major concern during the marriage, money is likely to also be an issue after the divorce. There is some research to indicate that finances are likely to be a source of conflict for half of divorced co-parents.
Following a divorce, a woman's standard of living drops an average of 30 percent in five years, while a man's rises 8 percent. Most of this disparity is due to the discrepancy between male and female pay scales.
Most divorced parents can expect a lifestyle change. Stretching income to cover two households results in less money for each of the newly created households. This results in a lower level of living for everyone.
Reduce the Hostility over Money
Live up to your end of the bargain. Regardless of the formula you used to decide on the amount of support payments and timing of such payments, make every effort to make payments on time. Not only are these payments essential to the welfare of your child, payments send the message to your children that you are committed to them and care about their well being.
Understand that the residential parent has some base costs for housing, electricity, etc., that must be paid even if the child spends time with the non-residential parent.
If you are on the receiving end of the payments, it is helpful to provide a simple accounting of how the support money is spent on a quarterly basis. This is not to say that you need to submit a detailed down to the last penny accounting of the support payment, but you can do a lot to demonstrate to the paying parent that the money is being used for the child or children rather than for yourself.
Don't involve the children in arguments over financial matters. Children should not have to worry about whether bills will be paid nor should they have to act as collection agents for the child support payments.
If the support check does not arrive, don't use this as an excuse to deny visitation. Your anger and resentment are understandable, but using your child as a tool to punish the other parent is also unacceptable. Denying visitation punishes the child more than the other parent, and can bring about further court action.
Share money limitations with your children but not your anxiety and worry. Kids need to understand why they can't eat out as often, but they don't need to share your stress.
Reassure your kids that they will be taken care of after the divorce. They will wonder if they will have a place to live and food to eat. They need your reassurance even though you may think it is obvious that they will have what they need. Separate parenting issues from financial issues when you plan a co-parenting discussion.
Don't try to assuage guilt by spending money, buying presents, and otherwise indulging your child to make up for the divorce or the time you are away from each other. Also, don't give your child things that you know the other parent can't afford. Playing the part of a "Disneyland Dad" or a "Merry Mom" not only encourages a child to build unrealistic expectations, but also can lead to manipulative behavior. Playing one parent off against the other is not a positive situation for the parents or the child. If there is something special that your child would like to have, plan with your co-parent about how or whether that particular purchase can be made. Sometimes proportional sharing of the costs is a fair way to provide for special needs or wants.
The paying parent may want to pay for some expenses directly rather than pass the money through the other parent. This sometimes helps remove some of the distrust about money and helps overcome the feeling that the money is being used by the other parent for his or her personal benefit. Make sure that the other parent is agreeable to this and that he or she understands and agrees with any such change in normal child support procedures in writing.
While money issues can be a major problem in the post-divorce stage, it is important to attempt to remove as much of the conflict and mystery as possible and deal realistically with the situation. The welfare of the child should be the primary focus of monetary discussion, not disputes from the marriage or disputes on parenting issues. Remember, it is the responsibility of both parents to provide for their children.
References
Blau, M. (1994). Families apart: Ten keys to successful co-parenting. New York: G. P. Putnam & Sons.
Marston, S. (1994). The divorced parent: Success strategies for raising your children after separation. New York: William Morrow and Company, Inc.
Ricci, I. (1980). Mom's house, dad's house: Making shared custody work. New York: Macmillan.
Tuesday, October 2, 2007
Friday, August 10, 2007
A Problem You Now Face...And The Solution
Lesson 7
A Problem You Now Face...And The Solution
This final lesson is important to you if, as you went through this course, you said one or more times to yourself, “Maybe!” Maybe there’s something here. Maybe there’s a way for me to settle my case with the least amount of grief. Maybe there’s a way to raise my odds of success and avoid at least some of the brutality that permeates the family law process. Maybe there’s a way to spend our time more effectively. “Maybe, maybe, maybe.” If you said maybe, then you have to be concerned with this problem:Bridging the gap between new ideas, new information, new intentions and implementation. Huge gap.
We’re not going to bridge the gap from new ideas, new information, new intentions, to implementation, to something actually happening. You need tools for this, so I’m going to show you a few tools. But first let me ask you...
If you’re involved in a “contested case” of any kind: How would you like to stop being a “victim”?.....Finally get accurately measurable, quick results from each and every action taken? At will, take the case by the “horns” and start directing traffic for a change? At will, raise your odds of settling by 75% and get more of what you want in your case? Define and DOMINATE the main issues of your choosing? (It doesn’t matter how difficult your “X” seems at the moment what I’m about to reveal to you can “re-invent” your entire attitude about your situation!)If you’re seeking custody and primary care of your kids: How would you like to quit feeling like it’s a foregone conclusion that the “X” gets the kids once and for all? Possess new, powerful ways to magnetically force settlement. Put an end to being a “2nd Class Citizen?” Have the “X” actually be on defense for a change?If you’re fighting unfair child support or worrying about protecting your assets: How would you like to set yourself up where the IRS pays a portion of your child support and you’ve got your assets protected so that you can really build for the future…....AND…..control your income so that you “don’t” have to reveal “all” of it….legally?All those benefits, and many more, are readily available -- with my strategies, notably my “Complete Father’s Rights Protection System”.
I Know You May Cruise The Internet Looking For Answers, Call Lawyer’s On The Phone, And Even Buy Books And CDs Looking For Answers. Still, I Outright Guarantee You've Never Gotten Your Hands On Anything Quite As Powerful And Practical As My Materials
I have assembled a product like no other -- yes, it’s in CD format, but you MUST NOT prejudge it because of that. This is actually a complete "TOOL KIT".....real tools you take and use in your case. It's called THE COMPLETE FATHER’S RIGHTS PROTECTION SYSTEM (2006 Edition) and you might think of it as a complete, transformational Father’s Rights department in a box. Actually, this is such a unique product it is hard to describe, but I'm going to take my very best shot.
There are 6 main, "components" in the COMPLETE FATHER’S RIGHTS PROTECTION SYSTEM -- let me walk you through each of them:
FATHER’S RIGHTS COMPONENT #1:"No Brainer," Fast Implementation
First, in general, I've made implementation an 80% "no-brainer," because I have done 80% of the work for you. In addition to teaching on CD in the System, I have taken nearly 50 case studies and created complete pleading work for each one; including Magnetic Power Pleadings --- including: Motions, Petitions, Tort Claims, Parenting Plans and Declarations, and so on. And these documents are all marked "Copyright Free," which gives you permission to take them and use them, virtually as-is! (When an attorney is paid to develop just ONE collection of documents like these, for one client, they often charge $3,500.00 to as much as $10,000.00, so there’s tens of $1,000’s worth of legal drafting provided in this System!)
Now, here's the best part: Information and ideas are fine, but let's bridge the gap to implementation. It turns out that 90% of all Father’s and their cases fit one (or more) of these categories so perfectly and ...YOUR case will match up with (at least) one of these categories so perfectly, you will be able to "steal" and use those "power pleadings" and strategies outright, just as if they were created for you ... only very minor adaptation necessary! Please pay attention to this point! I’ve given many seminars and, after each speech, I am surrounded by Father’s, each asking if the System applies to his case and will it work in his State, each believing their cases to be so "different" it must not be included. So, to repeat: 90% of all cases and situations are covered by this System! For most, at least one category is such a perfect match, there's instant application with little or no creative adaptation.
The System covers divorce, paternity, child support modifications, custody modifications, appeals, contempt of court, license suspensions, wage garnishments, grandparents rights, mediation, asset protection, on and on. And just about everybody who gets this System finds one category to be a very close match ... they learn and "borrow" from ALL the materials, AND they are able to instantly and easily apply the tools from the one category best matched to their case.
Included in these Copyright-Free Documents, in one of the examples, is the now-famous “Paper Blizzard Strategy.” Methods that I show at most seminars, that every audience falls in love with! You've just got to see this "Father’s Rights Masterpiece!"
FATHER’S RIGHTS COMPONENT #2:Learn From 8 Father’s Rights Manuals – Over 1,000 Pages
In addition to everything I created for you, I have also included 8 manuals that have been the backbone of the Father’s Rights Movement for the last 20 years. The Father’s that have used them have reported extraordinary results.
· A Father’s Guide To Winning Custody of Your Kids and Waging Your Own Personal Child Support Revolt taking you from the first time a problem arises through final paperwork; and
· A Father’s Guide To Winning Custody of Your Kids and Waging Your Own Personal Child Support Revolt Part II reveals in plain language how to stop oppression and live a free life; and,
· Anatomy Of A Divorce / A Guide For Father’s tells you what no other source will about the divorce process; and,
· Anatomy Of An Action For Parentage A Guide For Unwed Father’s is specifically geared for unwed Father’s; and,
· A Father’s Defense Guide Against False Allegations Of Sexual Abuse shows you how to strike back against false allegations of sexual abuse/domestic violence; and,
· Mediation: How Father’s Can Settle Custody And Child Support Disputes Without Going To Court teaches how to settle effectively rather than go into the non-user-friendly, anti-father court system; and,
· Winning Strategies For Father’s In Custody & Child Support Disputes is written for Father’s that are serious about rolling up their sleeves and doing their own pleading work; and
· Winning Strategies For Father’s In Custody/Child Support Disputes Part Il reveals jealously guarded secrets which show Father’s how to turn their cases into Rights-Winning Machines.
But virtually EVERY possible scenario is included in my System. My COMPLETE FATHER’S RIGHTS PROTECTION SYSTEM is a comprehensive, integrated package of help with pleadings, techniques, strategies asset protection formulas, and every problem and solution presented in easily understandable format.
FATHER’S RIGHTS COMPONENT #3:The "Audio Companion" CD
Audio CD #1 “The Audio Companion CD” "walks" you through every scenario, every 'power pleading', every tool, every example in the System. Sit down for a couple of hours at your desk or kitchen table, with the System, listen to this CD, and you’ll understand everything in the System, where it is, why it's there, how it is to be used. This way, you quickly set up your own "Fathers’ Rights Smorgasbord," so you can go back through the line, pick out the strategy and "tools" most relevant to your case right now, get those up and running, working for you, and then go back through the line and pick another system, etc.
Oh, and don't worry about the "how to eat an elephant problem" here -- the answer IS "one bite at a time." This System is NOT something you're going to zip through once, put on a shelf and never go back to. Not at all! It IS a true "tool kit" you'll keep going back to, time after time, month after month. And each time you choose and put to work a System, a strategy, or tool, you will AGAIN simplify your life, strengthen your position with your kids, and gain control of your case!
FATHER’S RIGHTS COMPONENT #4:A "Crash Course" In Father’s Rights
Audio CD #2 gives you a fast, crash course in these unusual, powerful strategies. This unique CD is in question and answer format and condenses my answers for you.....it's a total "brain drain".....and I promise you: you're going to EAGERLY refer to this CD over and over again, making new discoveries every time! If you have friends that may be going through the same thing you are, get them to refer to this CD, and they'll instantly have their minds opened to these new approaches.
FATHER’S RIGHTS COMPONENT #5:7 Major Bonuses ...
The system contains 7 Major Father’s Rights Bonuses. "Here, I focus on several of the most powerful, easy to master, easy to implement Systems which affect your rights and offer some “extra” useful tools as well. You’ll see great results from: Magnetic Power Pleadings, Nationwide Father’s Rights Resources, Magnetic Power Pleadings, Glossary, State and Federal Tort Claims, Report on Parental Alienation Syndrome and a Compendium of Legal Forms Shrewdly Slanted in Your Favor,
FATHER’S RIGHTS COMPONENT #6:Hands-On, Personal Assistance:A $1,000.00+ Consultation Value!
You get my personal feedback, by phone, email or FAX. And staff does NOT do this; you get advice from me on what you've done well, what you haven't, and how to improve it. (By the way, a warning: I'm rather blunt. I may hurt your feelings. But I WILL improve your case!)
As a Father’s Rights consultant, I frequently provide this 2nd Opinion Critique service to many Father’s, and charge $200.00 per item, so this IS a very real value. However, it can certainly be worth a whole lot more to you. (There's a Father in Seattle, Washington for example, who made three "little" changes in his case pleading that he was about to file -- and immediately got some things in court the next day that he wasn’t even going to ask for before I talked to him. Or another Father in Florida that made ... one "little" change in the way he “channeled” his income and saved tons on child support because “he’ controlled his income.
You get me to respond to your most vexing problems. I regularly charge big dough for my “personal” consultation, but this is included for you at no added charge!
By Now, I'll Bet You Are "Worrying"About The Price ...
Most people guess we're into the $500.00 to $1,000.00 price range. Fortunately, we are not. The price for everything included with my "Complete Father’s Rights Protection System," under the terms of a special, limited time offer is only $247.77.
There's Even A Remarkably GenerousDOUBLE GUARANTEE -- And I Enjoy A 96% Satisfaction Rate.
Your first Guarantee: You have TWO full months to examine everything, use what you wish, and, if for any reason or even no reason, you want a full refund, just return everything and you'll get your money back immediately. NO questions asked. You do not need a "my dog ate my homework story." No one will ask you any questions at all. No hassle. No "fine print." Simple and straightforward; you are thrilled with what you get in my System or you get a full refund. And, incidentally, I'm devoted to the goal of only having satisfied customers. If you're not going to improve your case from having my System, I really would prefer to buy it back.
Your SECOND Guarantee: If you keep the System after the two months, I'll ride along with you for another TEN months and, if, after a full year from your purchase date, you will show me proof that you used at least one strategy, System, or tool from the Complete Father’s Rights Protection System, and you will look me in the eye on paper and tell me you did not improve your case in some manner, that you would not have otherwise, send me a note describing your use and I’ll STILL refund every penny you've paid. Even if you've used my personal Critique and Consultation Service, I will STILL refund every penny you've paid -- even after one full year. I want you to improve your case that you know would never have gotten there without my System, or I want to buy it back.
Now let me give you an amazing statistic: in the last 20 years we’ve worked with well over 10,000 Father’s; all who have used the Complete Father’s Rights Protection System. This includes direct sales and contacts via our web sites. All were sold with this same Double Guarantee. The result: a 96% satisfaction rate. But that doesn't just mean that 96% of those people kept their Systems.....most of those guys also sent me success reports, emails and testimonial letters, subscribed to further services and became full time members of the National Brotherhood of Father’s Rights. I think these facts have to tell you a lot about the results YOU can expect from getting my "secrets" working for you. After all, why would anybody make additional investments and join our organization if they weren't benefiting tremendously from their first investment?
An Incredibly Valuable Fast Action BONUS Offer:
1. I've also reserved a copy of my Special Report "How To Use The Federal Court System To Enforce Your Constitutionally Guaranteed Parental Rights And Prevent The Dissipation of Your Assets And Infringements Upon Your Personal Rights"…...Valued at $199.00 And, you keep that Report even if you choose to return everything else for a refund.
So, TWO FULL MONTHS, unconditional satisfaction guarantee. PLUS an additional TEN MONTHS' conditional guarantee. PLUS the Federal Bonus Report, yours to keep regardless of your decision about everything else.
Here's How To Get Your FATHER’S RIGHTS PROTECTION SYSTEM At The Very Special Discount (This IS a limited offer. Act now!)
I have allocated only a certain, limited number of Systems at this deeply discounted price. As a result, I can only extend this invitation to the first 25 people who order this month. I need your response immediately! (After 25 people have ordered, this offer is void.)
Click here to order my course right now. Remember: If you're not thrilled with the results, just send the course back within the next year, pay nothing, and keep the “powerful” Federal Court bonus report -- that's a better than risk free offer!I urge you to act on this opportunity today, right now, while it is fresh in your mind.
Best,Dennis M. GacDennis M. Gac, President NBFR
P.S. And, for Father’s that are new to our organization, I'm including our FREE monthly newsletter with your system. This newsletter is the “only” one of its kind. It explores the uses of many new Father’s rights techniques, introduces you to new case law and teaches you how to react in a number of situations. Read and discover how to accelerate your mastery of new Father’s Rights information and skills.
P.S. #2: Remember that you have NO RISK whatsoever with my powerful DOUBLE GUARANTEE. If you don't benefit from my Complete Father’s Rights Protection System, simply return it for a no questions asked refund and keep the valuable bonus report as a gift for trying my system. Click Here To Order
P.S. #3: Don't forget that I can only guarantee that you'll get the special DOUBLE GUARANTEE and the special $199.00 valued Federal Bonus Book if you order within the next 15 days.
"Thank you! I invested in your System about one year ago and it has literally changed the scope of my case and my life with my kids. Before I got your System, I was just a “visitor.” After putting into action what you teach, I now have custody of my kids!"
Jon Kasdorf, Miami Florida
"After requesting some basic information on line, I had a great chat with one of your associates and purchased your System. WOW! I used the Paper Blizzard technique and “buried” the X in paperwork. This resulted in a negotiated settlement without going to court. Like you said, I leveled the playing field for the first time. "
Brad Livingston, Detroit, Michigan
"COMPLETE FATHER’S RIGHTS PROTECTION SYSTEM"by Dennis Gac.....$495.54 $247.77
Click Here To Order Call in An Order (206) 650-0250
The Famous "Impossible Case" Story
Lesson 6
The Famous "Impossible Case" Story
This story is a real important story. Here’s everything it does.First of all, it takes everything we talked about and a few things we didn’t, and stitches them together in chronologically applicable order, so you see how they work. Secondly, it does it in a real-life situation. This is a true-life example. Third, it does it with an extremely disagreeable “X” most of you would never expect to settle, thereby demonstrating if this guy can do it, you can do it too. Fourth, it gives you a complete, as I promised you at the beginning of our time together, a Father’s Rights strategy, a system, step-by-step, that you can walk out of here and use exactly as it is described to you in this story, and see results in your case; perhaps in a short period of time.
One day, I get a phone call from a guy right here in my own home town of Seattle, Washington. He’s calls me, as so many Father’s do with the “impossible case.” He’s so depressed and at his wits end about his situation --- not being able to see his kids, false allegations by the “X” against him regarding him abusing his kids, and a nasty child support order which garnishes his wages, leaving him with next to nothing to live on. This guy was desperate for help!
A Deadly Mistake
The point is that this guy is desperate and willing to try anything; while most Father’s are not. Don’t make this flagrant mistake.
So, I consoled him for a minute and then hit him with what he needed to do….follow the system. I gave him a brief history how to go about it and he began the process.
Of course he was skeptical, but, so distraught that he had nothing to lose.
He began by sending the first letter to his “X” making it a really impassioned message. Of course, no response. A couple of weeks later he sent a follow up letter, still no response. All the while, he was defending himself in court on multiple hearings and going through a series of parenting and anger management evaluations. And, he fought vigorously by the way!
Because he was feeling a little better about things, in fact, empowered for the first time in a couple of months, he began filing his own motions in court without an attorney and appealed every order of the court --- bumping things upstairs out of the family court and into the court of appeals.
He became very organized and offered sworn affidavits from family and friends contradicting his “X”’s statements and submitted these to the evaluators. He also filed them into the record at the courthouse.
Again, he sent a further letter offering to mediate with her and to come to some sort of settlement that made sense for everyone concerned; particularly the kids. Again, no response.
So, he got the bright idea [from the system of course] to file a tort claim lawsuit against the “X”, her attorney and several people that testified against him. He told me “you should have seen their faces when they got served.” In fact, he immediately got a phone call from the “X”’s attorney …. Yelling at him and telling him he didn’t know what he was doing and that he couldn’t sue. My guy proceeded to tell Mr. Attorney that he obviously didn’t understand cause he already did it! It was becoming fun now!
Yet, my client didn’t lose sight of the system which is to create pressure to gain relief!
Again, he sent a letter to the “X” offering to talk about settlement and something that made sense. By this time, of course, she had heard from all her family and friends that were part of the lawsuit; something she created by being such a b___ !
All of a sudden, after 6 months, she sent him an email chewing him out and asking him who he thought he was; but, near the end of the email she said she might be willing to concede on some issues; but, that she’d have to have custody and still needed money.
WOW! This guy called me immediately and was “giddy” with joy. He said that this was the first time progress of any sort was seen. I was happy for him, of course, but warned him not to let his guard down and “keep working the system.”
Now, think about this for a second, because two important things just happened. Not only did it look like the “X” was beginning to soften, my guy was really enthused now!
There’s more to his story, but, I think you get the point. And, there are many, many more techniques this guy hadn’t even used yet.
If he stops there, it’s a giant epic waste. Think of what has to happen now for it this situation to turn into an actual settlement. He has to meet with her, propose his ideas, listen to hers and come to an agreement. Fat change huh? No, wrong again. He’s closer than he thinks.
Now, I’m going to tell you the rest of the story, mostly for fun. It makes one important point. But let’s do 30 seconds of analysis. This Father did everything we talked about brilliantly. Let’s analyze his case settlement campaign.
Anatomy Of A Killer Settlement Campaign
This Father our “settlement genius,” feels much better about the case and himself while exerting “real” pressure on the other side to settle.
The first seed he plants in the mind of the “X” and her attorney is that “this guys not giving up and becoming a real pain the a__!” This guys really feeling his oats now!
He then throws his case in overdrive by suing everyone involved with defaming his character and denying him his rights with his children.
He essentially creates an offer they can’t refuse. You know, like in the Godfather. He creates an offer that transcends timing. He did everything we talked about brilliantly. And if this guy can do it you can do it.
The Rest Of The Story
Now, for fun, this Father sets up mediation and his wife agrees, virtually no resemblance between the old uncooperative “X” and the “new X.”
At mediation she still digs in her heels a bit but the important point is that she is at the negotiation table; where prior to Al’s implementation of our system Al wasn’t even in the ballpark.
Now, mediation continues for several sessions and our Father and the “X” actually agree on several points except a new parenting plan for the kids, the amount of money she’ll get paid every month for child support and for the maintenance that she was still demanding.
Our guy smelled blood at this point even though the “X” wasn’t agreeing to everything. He sensed that the “X” really didn’t want to jump back into the arena --- he smelled fear for the first time.
8 sessions later and a little concession on his part and the parties struck a settlement.
Now, it’s easy to sit here and read this nice neat little story summarizing almost a year of this guys life and think that that’s all well and good, but, “I’m sitting here in the trenches slugging it out.” Believe me, it can happen to you too!
But, it won’t all be a bed of roses. There are problems with every case, even if we had three times as many lessons we couldn’t solve every conceivable problem in every single case. And we don’t even try to solve everything in this short course.
I want to talk about the problems and how to solve them in our final lesson. www.fathershelphotline.com
The Famous "Impossible Case" Story
This story is a real important story. Here’s everything it does.First of all, it takes everything we talked about and a few things we didn’t, and stitches them together in chronologically applicable order, so you see how they work. Secondly, it does it in a real-life situation. This is a true-life example. Third, it does it with an extremely disagreeable “X” most of you would never expect to settle, thereby demonstrating if this guy can do it, you can do it too. Fourth, it gives you a complete, as I promised you at the beginning of our time together, a Father’s Rights strategy, a system, step-by-step, that you can walk out of here and use exactly as it is described to you in this story, and see results in your case; perhaps in a short period of time.
One day, I get a phone call from a guy right here in my own home town of Seattle, Washington. He’s calls me, as so many Father’s do with the “impossible case.” He’s so depressed and at his wits end about his situation --- not being able to see his kids, false allegations by the “X” against him regarding him abusing his kids, and a nasty child support order which garnishes his wages, leaving him with next to nothing to live on. This guy was desperate for help!
A Deadly Mistake
The point is that this guy is desperate and willing to try anything; while most Father’s are not. Don’t make this flagrant mistake.
So, I consoled him for a minute and then hit him with what he needed to do….follow the system. I gave him a brief history how to go about it and he began the process.
Of course he was skeptical, but, so distraught that he had nothing to lose.
He began by sending the first letter to his “X” making it a really impassioned message. Of course, no response. A couple of weeks later he sent a follow up letter, still no response. All the while, he was defending himself in court on multiple hearings and going through a series of parenting and anger management evaluations. And, he fought vigorously by the way!
Because he was feeling a little better about things, in fact, empowered for the first time in a couple of months, he began filing his own motions in court without an attorney and appealed every order of the court --- bumping things upstairs out of the family court and into the court of appeals.
He became very organized and offered sworn affidavits from family and friends contradicting his “X”’s statements and submitted these to the evaluators. He also filed them into the record at the courthouse.
Again, he sent a further letter offering to mediate with her and to come to some sort of settlement that made sense for everyone concerned; particularly the kids. Again, no response.
So, he got the bright idea [from the system of course] to file a tort claim lawsuit against the “X”, her attorney and several people that testified against him. He told me “you should have seen their faces when they got served.” In fact, he immediately got a phone call from the “X”’s attorney …. Yelling at him and telling him he didn’t know what he was doing and that he couldn’t sue. My guy proceeded to tell Mr. Attorney that he obviously didn’t understand cause he already did it! It was becoming fun now!
Yet, my client didn’t lose sight of the system which is to create pressure to gain relief!
Again, he sent a letter to the “X” offering to talk about settlement and something that made sense. By this time, of course, she had heard from all her family and friends that were part of the lawsuit; something she created by being such a b___ !
All of a sudden, after 6 months, she sent him an email chewing him out and asking him who he thought he was; but, near the end of the email she said she might be willing to concede on some issues; but, that she’d have to have custody and still needed money.
WOW! This guy called me immediately and was “giddy” with joy. He said that this was the first time progress of any sort was seen. I was happy for him, of course, but warned him not to let his guard down and “keep working the system.”
Now, think about this for a second, because two important things just happened. Not only did it look like the “X” was beginning to soften, my guy was really enthused now!
There’s more to his story, but, I think you get the point. And, there are many, many more techniques this guy hadn’t even used yet.
If he stops there, it’s a giant epic waste. Think of what has to happen now for it this situation to turn into an actual settlement. He has to meet with her, propose his ideas, listen to hers and come to an agreement. Fat change huh? No, wrong again. He’s closer than he thinks.
Now, I’m going to tell you the rest of the story, mostly for fun. It makes one important point. But let’s do 30 seconds of analysis. This Father did everything we talked about brilliantly. Let’s analyze his case settlement campaign.
Anatomy Of A Killer Settlement Campaign
This Father our “settlement genius,” feels much better about the case and himself while exerting “real” pressure on the other side to settle.
The first seed he plants in the mind of the “X” and her attorney is that “this guys not giving up and becoming a real pain the a__!” This guys really feeling his oats now!
He then throws his case in overdrive by suing everyone involved with defaming his character and denying him his rights with his children.
He essentially creates an offer they can’t refuse. You know, like in the Godfather. He creates an offer that transcends timing. He did everything we talked about brilliantly. And if this guy can do it you can do it.
The Rest Of The Story
Now, for fun, this Father sets up mediation and his wife agrees, virtually no resemblance between the old uncooperative “X” and the “new X.”
At mediation she still digs in her heels a bit but the important point is that she is at the negotiation table; where prior to Al’s implementation of our system Al wasn’t even in the ballpark.
Now, mediation continues for several sessions and our Father and the “X” actually agree on several points except a new parenting plan for the kids, the amount of money she’ll get paid every month for child support and for the maintenance that she was still demanding.
Our guy smelled blood at this point even though the “X” wasn’t agreeing to everything. He sensed that the “X” really didn’t want to jump back into the arena --- he smelled fear for the first time.
8 sessions later and a little concession on his part and the parties struck a settlement.
Now, it’s easy to sit here and read this nice neat little story summarizing almost a year of this guys life and think that that’s all well and good, but, “I’m sitting here in the trenches slugging it out.” Believe me, it can happen to you too!
But, it won’t all be a bed of roses. There are problems with every case, even if we had three times as many lessons we couldn’t solve every conceivable problem in every single case. And we don’t even try to solve everything in this short course.
I want to talk about the problems and how to solve them in our final lesson. www.fathershelphotline.com
Two Big Secrets You Need To Know
Lesson 5
Two Big Secrets You Need To Know
The secret to Father’s rights is that if you want impact, if you want a positive response from the other side, you must have repetition. The two are inextricably linked. One does not happen without the other. But you cannot be unreasonable in your demands either. You can’t afford to cause more problems in your case by making unreasonable and emotional demands.
You need a guerilla warfare kind of repetition, and that’s what I’m going to show you with this example. Just one example of a rights-winning system, but certainly a very good one that, in any case will make a difference in 45 days or less.
Now, I’m going to show you one example. Got to quickly convince you, you can move the example to your case. And, it doesn’t matter whether you have a reasonable “X” or an extremely difficult person to deal with. It doesn’t matter whether she has a “blood-sucking” attorney or not. It doesn’t matter what County or State you’re in. None of that matters.
Let me quickly try and prove it to you. These are a few letters about what I’m going to share with you that crossed my desk recently.
This is from a Father from Florida. He says, “I was extremely frustrated in my case and was afraid to keep trying to place pressure while “throwing out the settlement line” as you instruct. Well, I was wrong. On the 5th attempt over several months we reached settlement and saved a ton in legal fees; avoiding trial.” “This is the only way to go.”
This is a Father in California. There were false allegations in his case. “Your system’s the most beneficial thing I’ve done to get my case settled for the benefit of our children.”
This is a dentist from Ohio. “I’m amazed, not only did I settle our case my assets were left, to a large degree, “intact” even though she was going for blood from the beginning, all thanks to your Father’s Rights system.
This is a truck driver from Illinois. “I reduced my legal fees by 70% once I became involved with my case; becoming a participant rather than an observer; thanks to your system.”
This is a CPA from Washington State. “I actually had the IRS pay a portion of my child support once I learned how to turn child support into a tax deduction.” “And, that’s surprising since I’m a CPA.”
I’ve got hundreds of them I could share with you and I have a ton of success stories like these on my website. So however difficult the case, the system works.
A Step By Step Example
The example I’m going to show you comes from a Father in North Carolina. I use it with all our members for two reasons. One, if you had an arena full of Father’s, they’d all swear it won’t work; especially in their case because the “X” is a b___!” Father’s pretty much don’t try something that has emotional risk. And if they do anything, they keep up a protective shield.So this is settlement letter number one to get the pump “primed” so to speak. The letter is dated and addressed in a formal manner; however, the salutation says “Dear Ginny” I’ll read you just two paragraphs. “I know that we have may have had our differences, but the most important thing now is not to operate from fear to the detriment of our kids.” “Now, more than ever, we need to work out the issues between us in the best interests of our children, or, someone else will make the decision for us.” I have taken the liberty to outline what I believe to be fair for “all” concerned; but, if you disagree with anything I’ve suggested, please don’t react in anger. My suggestion is that we get together to discuss things, or, if you’d feel more comfortable we can mediate with a professional.
It goes on to present specific solutions to the problems, which includes, parenting issues, custody, property settlement child support and more. But, most importantly, at the end it states in no uncertain terms that he won’t give up and won’t roll over for unfairness. Meet ½ way, yes, but not be steam-rolled.
My point is what happens to every “X” that gets this letter and does not respond? 15 days later, they get a second one.
This letter goes on to restate the problem, restate the solution, remake the offer. And it works and most often gets response. That’s not what’s important to our conversation. What’s important is what happens to everybody that gets letter number one and letter number two and still does not respond? A month or so later, they get letter number three. I’m certain you get the picture.
Here’s what you have to ask yourself seriously for just a second. Do you have any doubt that any “X” that gets the three letters, and if necessary even more follow up over time is not going to at least consider settling? It’s important to note that you keep “fighting” your case if necessary during the process if she’s filed against you or set a hearing. Again, you have to exert pressure to gain relief.
For the price of three letters, you have taken a pro-active approach and are the dominant force in your case in 45 days or less. You can’t do it more efficiently than that.
The Magic Is In The Structure
Now, a few Father’s are saying, “Wait a minute! You don’t know my “X”, she’ll never go for that. She’ll just laugh and think I’m a fool.
Well, there are very good reasons for doing it anyway. Firstly, you just may surprise yourself and make some progress, but, if not, as you get further into litigation, you’ve lessened the chances of being hit with her legal fees and you’ll impress the judge with your approach as well!
But if you like, you can separate style from structure. What’s most important is the structure. Let me show you. Regardless of the hostility of their X’s many Father’s have used the three-letter system in their cases. Of all the cases I’ve seen, “positive responses to letter number one was 7%, letter number two 8% and letter number three, 3%. Total response, 18 percent.”
Now, there’s two things you’ve got to know. Number one, nobody gets 18 percent positive responses from the other side, if they even try to settle their cases right from the very beginning. My members, but nobody else does. But what’s more important, if they stopped where everybody stops, with letter number one, in their case they’d leave 11 percent of a chance behind. They don’t get it, they don’t know it was there to get. Maybe they have an unsuccessful instead of a successful experience. There’s magic in the structure itself which magnetically attracts a positive result.
Don’t get me wrong, as you can see by doing the numbers, “most” of the time this method does not work; but, this is just one method for settlement and we haven’t even gone to court yet, nor approached any of the other players.
I figured that if this one method works on disagreeable X’s what happens if we tried it on all the other players, as well? It has since become one of my most reliable Magnetic Power Pleading models of the nearly 100 that I teach. And I recommend highly that you try it.
Now, in lesson 6, I’m going to tell you a closing story. This story keeps promises I made to you at the beginning of this course. www.fathershelphotline.com
Two Big Secrets You Need To Know
The secret to Father’s rights is that if you want impact, if you want a positive response from the other side, you must have repetition. The two are inextricably linked. One does not happen without the other. But you cannot be unreasonable in your demands either. You can’t afford to cause more problems in your case by making unreasonable and emotional demands.
You need a guerilla warfare kind of repetition, and that’s what I’m going to show you with this example. Just one example of a rights-winning system, but certainly a very good one that, in any case will make a difference in 45 days or less.
Now, I’m going to show you one example. Got to quickly convince you, you can move the example to your case. And, it doesn’t matter whether you have a reasonable “X” or an extremely difficult person to deal with. It doesn’t matter whether she has a “blood-sucking” attorney or not. It doesn’t matter what County or State you’re in. None of that matters.
Let me quickly try and prove it to you. These are a few letters about what I’m going to share with you that crossed my desk recently.
This is from a Father from Florida. He says, “I was extremely frustrated in my case and was afraid to keep trying to place pressure while “throwing out the settlement line” as you instruct. Well, I was wrong. On the 5th attempt over several months we reached settlement and saved a ton in legal fees; avoiding trial.” “This is the only way to go.”
This is a Father in California. There were false allegations in his case. “Your system’s the most beneficial thing I’ve done to get my case settled for the benefit of our children.”
This is a dentist from Ohio. “I’m amazed, not only did I settle our case my assets were left, to a large degree, “intact” even though she was going for blood from the beginning, all thanks to your Father’s Rights system.
This is a truck driver from Illinois. “I reduced my legal fees by 70% once I became involved with my case; becoming a participant rather than an observer; thanks to your system.”
This is a CPA from Washington State. “I actually had the IRS pay a portion of my child support once I learned how to turn child support into a tax deduction.” “And, that’s surprising since I’m a CPA.”
I’ve got hundreds of them I could share with you and I have a ton of success stories like these on my website. So however difficult the case, the system works.
A Step By Step Example
The example I’m going to show you comes from a Father in North Carolina. I use it with all our members for two reasons. One, if you had an arena full of Father’s, they’d all swear it won’t work; especially in their case because the “X” is a b___!” Father’s pretty much don’t try something that has emotional risk. And if they do anything, they keep up a protective shield.So this is settlement letter number one to get the pump “primed” so to speak. The letter is dated and addressed in a formal manner; however, the salutation says “Dear Ginny” I’ll read you just two paragraphs. “I know that we have may have had our differences, but the most important thing now is not to operate from fear to the detriment of our kids.” “Now, more than ever, we need to work out the issues between us in the best interests of our children, or, someone else will make the decision for us.” I have taken the liberty to outline what I believe to be fair for “all” concerned; but, if you disagree with anything I’ve suggested, please don’t react in anger. My suggestion is that we get together to discuss things, or, if you’d feel more comfortable we can mediate with a professional.
It goes on to present specific solutions to the problems, which includes, parenting issues, custody, property settlement child support and more. But, most importantly, at the end it states in no uncertain terms that he won’t give up and won’t roll over for unfairness. Meet ½ way, yes, but not be steam-rolled.
My point is what happens to every “X” that gets this letter and does not respond? 15 days later, they get a second one.
This letter goes on to restate the problem, restate the solution, remake the offer. And it works and most often gets response. That’s not what’s important to our conversation. What’s important is what happens to everybody that gets letter number one and letter number two and still does not respond? A month or so later, they get letter number three. I’m certain you get the picture.
Here’s what you have to ask yourself seriously for just a second. Do you have any doubt that any “X” that gets the three letters, and if necessary even more follow up over time is not going to at least consider settling? It’s important to note that you keep “fighting” your case if necessary during the process if she’s filed against you or set a hearing. Again, you have to exert pressure to gain relief.
For the price of three letters, you have taken a pro-active approach and are the dominant force in your case in 45 days or less. You can’t do it more efficiently than that.
The Magic Is In The Structure
Now, a few Father’s are saying, “Wait a minute! You don’t know my “X”, she’ll never go for that. She’ll just laugh and think I’m a fool.
Well, there are very good reasons for doing it anyway. Firstly, you just may surprise yourself and make some progress, but, if not, as you get further into litigation, you’ve lessened the chances of being hit with her legal fees and you’ll impress the judge with your approach as well!
But if you like, you can separate style from structure. What’s most important is the structure. Let me show you. Regardless of the hostility of their X’s many Father’s have used the three-letter system in their cases. Of all the cases I’ve seen, “positive responses to letter number one was 7%, letter number two 8% and letter number three, 3%. Total response, 18 percent.”
Now, there’s two things you’ve got to know. Number one, nobody gets 18 percent positive responses from the other side, if they even try to settle their cases right from the very beginning. My members, but nobody else does. But what’s more important, if they stopped where everybody stops, with letter number one, in their case they’d leave 11 percent of a chance behind. They don’t get it, they don’t know it was there to get. Maybe they have an unsuccessful instead of a successful experience. There’s magic in the structure itself which magnetically attracts a positive result.
Don’t get me wrong, as you can see by doing the numbers, “most” of the time this method does not work; but, this is just one method for settlement and we haven’t even gone to court yet, nor approached any of the other players.
I figured that if this one method works on disagreeable X’s what happens if we tried it on all the other players, as well? It has since become one of my most reliable Magnetic Power Pleading models of the nearly 100 that I teach. And I recommend highly that you try it.
Now, in lesson 6, I’m going to tell you a closing story. This story keeps promises I made to you at the beginning of this course. www.fathershelphotline.com
How To Dominate Your Case In 45 Days Or Less At Little Or No Cost To You
Lesson 4
How To Dominate Your Case In 45 Days Or Less At Little Or No Cost To You
Here’s the next challenge. How do you take the message you so lovingly crafted and deliver it to the people who are influential in your case, in a way that’s effective, efficient, affordable and involves little or no emotional turmoil – I’m philosophically opposed to getting emotionally involved – and will always “opt” for a systematic, well planned approach that keeps you involved with the case. How do you do that?Well, if you make a list, and if you stop to think about it, there are many things you can do to prepare your case. Dependent upon your specific case, you can begin keeping a chronological diary of events, begin writing down what you want and why, begin obtaining sworn affidavits from people that attest to your abilities as a Father, draft a spread sheet listing assets and debts, close all joint accounts to protect your credit and assets and seek the services of a Pro-Father Attorney if you so choose. On and on and on and on. Here’s a couple of things you need to know. First of all, all that stuff works, and it all can be made to work better with good methods. But only a handful of all those things can be converted into a system. And system’s one of my favorite words. System means reliable, consistent, predictable results. You get it working once and then it keeps working on its own for a long, long, time before you have to tweak with it again.
We need a Father’s Rights Winning system. And the example I’m going to show you of a system is so predictable, so reliable, so consistent, that you go to bed at night, when you have this working for you, knowing – not hoping, wishing, not even praying, but knowing – within a small, acceptable range of variance, that good things will happen in your case, even if it takes a little time --- for as long as you use the system. And it’s like a thermometer. You can even turn it up or down to get more or less results anytime of the week, month or year that you want them. It’s that scientific. So I’m going to show you one example of one system. This example does several things. It demonstrates to you what a system ought to look like, versus just catch as catch can. It shows you how to take a message, deliver it to the right people in a way that’s effective, efficient and affordable. And this one has a bonus to it. This one shows you how to begin the case and dominate it in 45 days or less with little or no financial cost. You become the dominant presence in your case. If you can define what you’re seeking whether you’re bringing a simple motion before the court, going through an evaluation, or working on a trial situation, in 45 days or less you’ll be a dominant force to reckon with. The players in the case know who you are, what you do and why they ought to do “business” with you,
A "Stolen" Strategy
There’s a couple of caveats, things I have to tell you about this before I show it to you. The first is I stole it. I’m a huge believer in creative theft. Frankly some of the “best” ideas are stolen and the older I get the less interested I am in blazing a new path. Pioneers come home full of arrows. So I’m interested in stuff that works.
But I get to do something you don’t get to do. Over the last 19 years, I’ve worked with clients in 5 different countries and in every State in the Union. So you, today’s a weird day for you because you’re in a position that you’ve never been in before and it’s an emotional meat grinder! But whether you realize it or not, you belong to a nationwide fraternity of Father’s that have already “plowed” the way for you. They’ve already found success, tried the new techniques, taken the bumps and bruises and fount the appropriate winning actions for you.
All great advancements come from outside the box, not inside the box. As a Father’s Rights consultant, I get to work with Father A in a given State. And because everybody’s mostly closed minded, while I’m working with him I notice something that’s phenomenally effective. Hardly anybody in other areas is doing it but could be doing it. I borrow it from case to case, count to county, state to state and I take it over and I teach it to Father B in another area entirely. And while I’m over there, I notice something he may be doing that hardly anybody else is doing but could be doing. So I borrow it from Father B and I take it back and I teach it to Father A. I call this the Mirroring Principle which is basically copying what works. The advantage that I have, that you don’t, is that I see a multiplicity of cases on a day to day basis and you don’t!
This particular system I’m going to show you as an example I borrowed over the last, almost, 20 years, by observation and personal experience in 1,000’s of cases. Success breeds success and the way you gain success is to copy people that know what they’re doing.
Another word for this technique is called “farming” and I stole it from the Real Estate business. What they mean, if you hear them talking about farming, what a realtor means by farming is getting a small, carefully-selected, manageable target market, and then nurturing it, setting out to become a dominant presence.
From a Father’s Rights perspective this means getting to know all of the players in your case. Not personally, necessarily, but know them well enough to know what they want from you in order for them to give you what you want. Even cross-pollinating a bit like a bee dropping off and picking up bits of information here and there that are to your benefit; making everyone know what the other players are doing, or, hiding it, dependent upon what’s the most advantageous to your case at the time.
The Biggest Mistake Most Father’s Make
The biggest mistake Father’s make in using this method is “not” thinking outside the box. They assume, for instance, that the “X” and her attorney are “not” players. They’re dead wrong! The judges, the judges bailiff, your attorney if you have one, her attorney, Guardian Ad Litems, evaluators, court clerks and even the “X” are all players that may be able to help you gain what you’re looking for. [And this is a short list – be creative – think!]
Now, two quick caveats:
First of all, be Pro-Active in your case and stay on the offense. Most Father’s are reactive instead of proactive! They’re constantly acting like retrievers, running after every little argument that the “X” throws at them.
Which brings me to the second caveat. As soon as I start to talk about it, one-third of the ears in the room flop right over. “Man, we’ve tried being Pro-Active. It doesn’t work in our state. A couple things about that.
First of all, you and I go through life only doing the things that work real, real well for us the very first time we do them.
Secondly, you have not tried being Pro-Active the way I’m going to show you how to be Pro-Active. In fact, almost every Father makes this mistake when they do try it. They get all hyped up and start out positive, then, go to court and almost no matter what happens, ugly, bad, good, they never keep being Pro Active. Or if they do, it’s three, six, eight months later and extremely inconsistent.
Don’t waste your time. Never do a one-shot approach. Let me explain to you why that can’t work.
The last thing the “X” wants to hear from you from the beginning stages of the case [with rare exceptions] is a settlement offer. However, as the case develops and you continue to place pressure on the other side by appealing every little order and filing your own motions in a persistent pattern, emotions and circumstances change. Again, it’s like fishing, you never know when they’ll bite.
What makes Father’s think they can make one offer, or file one motion and get a positive response, it’s a mystery to me. This is especially true when most women expect you to roll over and give them what they want just because they rant, rave, and otherwise, make themselves a complaining nuisance in court. Your single offer doesn’t even phase her – she doesn’t even feel the breeze.
Do you want to know some secrets? Quickly go to the lesson 5 and I'll reveal some killer secrets that will improve your chances... www.fathershelphotline.com
How To Dominate Your Case In 45 Days Or Less At Little Or No Cost To You
Here’s the next challenge. How do you take the message you so lovingly crafted and deliver it to the people who are influential in your case, in a way that’s effective, efficient, affordable and involves little or no emotional turmoil – I’m philosophically opposed to getting emotionally involved – and will always “opt” for a systematic, well planned approach that keeps you involved with the case. How do you do that?Well, if you make a list, and if you stop to think about it, there are many things you can do to prepare your case. Dependent upon your specific case, you can begin keeping a chronological diary of events, begin writing down what you want and why, begin obtaining sworn affidavits from people that attest to your abilities as a Father, draft a spread sheet listing assets and debts, close all joint accounts to protect your credit and assets and seek the services of a Pro-Father Attorney if you so choose. On and on and on and on. Here’s a couple of things you need to know. First of all, all that stuff works, and it all can be made to work better with good methods. But only a handful of all those things can be converted into a system. And system’s one of my favorite words. System means reliable, consistent, predictable results. You get it working once and then it keeps working on its own for a long, long, time before you have to tweak with it again.
We need a Father’s Rights Winning system. And the example I’m going to show you of a system is so predictable, so reliable, so consistent, that you go to bed at night, when you have this working for you, knowing – not hoping, wishing, not even praying, but knowing – within a small, acceptable range of variance, that good things will happen in your case, even if it takes a little time --- for as long as you use the system. And it’s like a thermometer. You can even turn it up or down to get more or less results anytime of the week, month or year that you want them. It’s that scientific. So I’m going to show you one example of one system. This example does several things. It demonstrates to you what a system ought to look like, versus just catch as catch can. It shows you how to take a message, deliver it to the right people in a way that’s effective, efficient and affordable. And this one has a bonus to it. This one shows you how to begin the case and dominate it in 45 days or less with little or no financial cost. You become the dominant presence in your case. If you can define what you’re seeking whether you’re bringing a simple motion before the court, going through an evaluation, or working on a trial situation, in 45 days or less you’ll be a dominant force to reckon with. The players in the case know who you are, what you do and why they ought to do “business” with you,
A "Stolen" Strategy
There’s a couple of caveats, things I have to tell you about this before I show it to you. The first is I stole it. I’m a huge believer in creative theft. Frankly some of the “best” ideas are stolen and the older I get the less interested I am in blazing a new path. Pioneers come home full of arrows. So I’m interested in stuff that works.
But I get to do something you don’t get to do. Over the last 19 years, I’ve worked with clients in 5 different countries and in every State in the Union. So you, today’s a weird day for you because you’re in a position that you’ve never been in before and it’s an emotional meat grinder! But whether you realize it or not, you belong to a nationwide fraternity of Father’s that have already “plowed” the way for you. They’ve already found success, tried the new techniques, taken the bumps and bruises and fount the appropriate winning actions for you.
All great advancements come from outside the box, not inside the box. As a Father’s Rights consultant, I get to work with Father A in a given State. And because everybody’s mostly closed minded, while I’m working with him I notice something that’s phenomenally effective. Hardly anybody in other areas is doing it but could be doing it. I borrow it from case to case, count to county, state to state and I take it over and I teach it to Father B in another area entirely. And while I’m over there, I notice something he may be doing that hardly anybody else is doing but could be doing. So I borrow it from Father B and I take it back and I teach it to Father A. I call this the Mirroring Principle which is basically copying what works. The advantage that I have, that you don’t, is that I see a multiplicity of cases on a day to day basis and you don’t!
This particular system I’m going to show you as an example I borrowed over the last, almost, 20 years, by observation and personal experience in 1,000’s of cases. Success breeds success and the way you gain success is to copy people that know what they’re doing.
Another word for this technique is called “farming” and I stole it from the Real Estate business. What they mean, if you hear them talking about farming, what a realtor means by farming is getting a small, carefully-selected, manageable target market, and then nurturing it, setting out to become a dominant presence.
From a Father’s Rights perspective this means getting to know all of the players in your case. Not personally, necessarily, but know them well enough to know what they want from you in order for them to give you what you want. Even cross-pollinating a bit like a bee dropping off and picking up bits of information here and there that are to your benefit; making everyone know what the other players are doing, or, hiding it, dependent upon what’s the most advantageous to your case at the time.
The Biggest Mistake Most Father’s Make
The biggest mistake Father’s make in using this method is “not” thinking outside the box. They assume, for instance, that the “X” and her attorney are “not” players. They’re dead wrong! The judges, the judges bailiff, your attorney if you have one, her attorney, Guardian Ad Litems, evaluators, court clerks and even the “X” are all players that may be able to help you gain what you’re looking for. [And this is a short list – be creative – think!]
Now, two quick caveats:
First of all, be Pro-Active in your case and stay on the offense. Most Father’s are reactive instead of proactive! They’re constantly acting like retrievers, running after every little argument that the “X” throws at them.
Which brings me to the second caveat. As soon as I start to talk about it, one-third of the ears in the room flop right over. “Man, we’ve tried being Pro-Active. It doesn’t work in our state. A couple things about that.
First of all, you and I go through life only doing the things that work real, real well for us the very first time we do them.
Secondly, you have not tried being Pro-Active the way I’m going to show you how to be Pro-Active. In fact, almost every Father makes this mistake when they do try it. They get all hyped up and start out positive, then, go to court and almost no matter what happens, ugly, bad, good, they never keep being Pro Active. Or if they do, it’s three, six, eight months later and extremely inconsistent.
Don’t waste your time. Never do a one-shot approach. Let me explain to you why that can’t work.
The last thing the “X” wants to hear from you from the beginning stages of the case [with rare exceptions] is a settlement offer. However, as the case develops and you continue to place pressure on the other side by appealing every little order and filing your own motions in a persistent pattern, emotions and circumstances change. Again, it’s like fishing, you never know when they’ll bite.
What makes Father’s think they can make one offer, or file one motion and get a positive response, it’s a mystery to me. This is especially true when most women expect you to roll over and give them what they want just because they rant, rave, and otherwise, make themselves a complaining nuisance in court. Your single offer doesn’t even phase her – she doesn’t even feel the breeze.
Do you want to know some secrets? Quickly go to the lesson 5 and I'll reveal some killer secrets that will improve your chances... www.fathershelphotline.com
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