Lesson 3
The Secret For Getting Your Message Heard – Loud And Clear
For good or bad, and it’s a debate that may have nothing to do with us father’s, being a “good boy” in court and doing what’s expected of us is dead. It’s gone, buried, forget it
So if you say to me, it’s really tough out here in my state, or you don’t understand that this judge is prejudiced, I’m going to tell you, firstly, that it’s no different anywhere else and that you “must” leverage your resources. It’s matching your message with the “right” person that needs to hear it; finding that decision-maker in your case, whether it be the judge, the family law evaluator, psychologist, or parenting plan evaluator.
And it begs the issue of focusing your resources with the goal of impacting the people in your case who are perfectly matched with what it is that you have to say and who truly have a substantial influence in your case. [Hint is usually not only the judge as we’d all like to believe].So we’re going to start to talk about targeting the key people in your case. We’ll take a few minutes on this. And if you know nothing else about family law and legal representation, you’ll instantly understand the first thing on the list.
The first thing is to find out who is the decision maker in the case. And, at first, you may think that this is the judge, when, in reality the judge usually follows the recommendations of someone, whether its an evaluator, a Guardian Ad Litem, or even legal counsel recommendations. Contrary to popular belief, judges “don’t” like to make decisions, they like to rubber stamp someone else’s findings; especially if they have credentials.
I can guarantee, that if there’s an evaluation of some kind going on; from parenting “evals” to property appraisals, the judge is going to place heavy emphasis on these peoples’ decisions. So, make certain you realize this and try to influence these people as much as possible. The best way to do this is to submit information to them in writing and attach references and sworn declarations supporting your position.
Don’t get me wrong, you’re not brown nosing, you’re just trying to manipulate effectively.
If there are not evaluators in your case, then maybe the judge will follow the “logical” recommendations of legal counsel. So, even the opposing side attorney, is a person that you can try to impress, manipulate and negotiate with; even if you can’t talk to the “X.”
Remember, you must be persistent in court and try to settle at the same time. One of my favorite sayings for Father’s in family law situations is to “Exert pressure to gain relief!” It’s also advisable to contact the opposing side --- kind of like fishing. Throw the settlement line out there once in a while to see if they’ll bite; but, also let them know that your persistence and determination will not go away until fairness is achieved.
Why You Want To Be More Clever Than Opposing Side
Many people think because they’re not an attorney they’re at a disadvantage in representing themselves. Or, because they’re men, that they can’t win. Again, nothing could be further from the truth! In fact, your strength in who you are and just being yourself “can” be your strongest advantage. Forget the case law and the “legal-mumbo-jumbo”. Present an “emotional-gut-level” appeal to the court and to the influential people in your case --- don’t give up, and you’ll be absolutely amazed at what can happen.
The opposing side attorney is typically “cold” and has no real interest in the case. And, this shows, no matter how much he pretends or how much legal knowledge and experience he has. So, you may think that you’re at a disadvantage, when really you’ve got the upper hand. Use it!
I’m in my office one day and I get a phone call from a Father. He says, “Look, I’ve tried your methods. Most recently, I’ve spent a great deal of time organizing my case. I’ve followed the ideas in your system. I’ve been writing up detailed pleadings till I’m blue in the face. I’ve followed your examples perfectly and I’m still getting screwed.”
This is not a good call. So I’ve got to ask questions. Turns out this guy is going through a divorce and owns his own business, making a good deal of income. I said, “Okay, are there court orders in the case yet? He said, “Yes, I went to court with my attorney and the judge didn’t read a word of what I wrote.” “She got everything.”
I said, “Okay, what can you tell me about the hearing.” “What type of hearing was it.” He said, it was a hearing on a restraining order in which she made false allegations --- all lies!” I said, “ok, you need to understand that at a restraining order hearing the judges job is to, basically, separate the parties and make certain he’s not going to see them back in court again on these issues.”
I went on to say that, “you need to understand that this sort of hearing is at the infancy stages of the case and that the resulting order is merely a “band-aid.” There are many things still left to do to change matters radically!”
You don’t know how many Father’s figure they’re screwed; even at this initial stage. They really don’t pursue anything much further. Even their attorney’s help perpetrate the myth that there’s not much else you can do, so they don’t have to do any more work than is absolutely necessary. [Obviously, this is not the case with all lawyers] This is why you must absolutely be involved in your case – directing traffic! And, for this you need real concrete information.
That information is readily available if you know where to look for it and how to get it, so you can precisely give yourself the greatest probability of success.
Are You Wasting Your Money Being a By-Stander In Your Case?
To prove to him the incredible importance of all this, we did some free research for him. I got a copy of his resulting orders and read both her paperwork and his. I come to find out that he was right, just a bunch of “nonsense” that couldn’t be proven either way. “Unfortunately,” I explained to him, “this kind of nonsense is “very common” in domestic cases and especially at the infancy stages of a case.
And by the way, if you haven’t done a little field research in your case and you haven’t observed “live” courtroom hearings in the exact same court room that you’ll be appearing in, venture out. Take a look. You’ve got to go into their own habitat, right when family law hearings begin is a good time. It’s when you’ll find all the “players” in a position where you can check them out without feeling intimidated, without anything on the line and without them realizing who you are.
So we’re discussing his case and digging further into actually what happened and how he “supposedly” got screwed. And here’s what we find. Although his soon-to-be “X” wife asked for an order of protection, the judge went ahead and set child support and visitation anyway. I explained to him that the judge really didn’t have the “jurisdiction” to make this kind of decision since the “X” really didn’t ask for it. I also explained that if he didn’t object to it and appeal or revise the order --- that it would stand. In fact, if you don’t complain about it, this coupled together with the passage of time, actually sets a precedent and works to your extreme disadvantage to change the order in the future.
He explained to me that he didn’t realize he could appeal it. This is often the case with most Father’s. Too often they accept whatever the judge “doles out” --- without ever contesting it or complaining about it in the proper fashion. You must say the right thing, in the right manner, to the right person to obtain the results you’re looking for! If any of those ingredients are missing, you lessen the likelihood of getting what you want.
I say to the Father, “you must appeal each and every decision if it’s not in your favor.” “This accomplishes two very important things. 1) You increase the odds of improving your order and 2) This places more pressure on the other side; increasing their costs – both financial and emotional.”
I call this the “Paper Blizzard” technique. Part of the technique is to wear out the other side --- like pealing and onion – it just keeps getting worse and worse for the “X” – crying more and more. “You see’” I said, “you’ve got to give them a reason to settle.” Without pressure on the other side --- the proper motivation so to speak, she’ll keep asking for more and more and “snicker” at you along the way. This technique levels the playing field!
The second big question to ask yourself, in your own way, are you making the same, dumb mistakes, wasting bullets on targets that even if you hit them, it doesn’t count? The biggest leverage you are going to find is taking small, efficient, steps to get big results. A small amount of persistent, learning, understanding and using Father’s rights winning techniques will gain you “big” results!
Let’s assume for the sake of our conversation, we figured that out. We’ve got two of the three things. We’ve got a powerful, emotion-driven, message. At it’s core, a great proposition for the court. And we have found exactly who we want to deliver the message to and we have excluded a whole bunch of people we do not want to waste time on. So we’ve got a great message, we’ve got great potential.
What do we need next to be successful? You'll discover that in lesson 4. www.fathershelphotline.com
Friday, August 10, 2007
The Most Important Question You Must Ask Yourself
Lesson 2
The Most Important Question You Must Ask Yourself
The first main issue regarding Father’s rights is delivering the “right” message. What is that message, “your” message? What do you say to the court, to the opposing side and to all concerned, including potential evaluators, that is compelling, that is magnetic, that cannot be ignored, that must be responded to? Do you have a great message? We’re going to ask some questions and find out.Secondly, who do you say it to, and by deliberate strategy who do you not say it to? Being efficient in your case. Are you efficient? Are you smart about this? Or are you throwing mud against the wall? We’re going to ask some questions and find out. And third, the “packaging”, how are you prepared to deliver the message to the recipients? Do you do that effectively? Do you do that efficiently? Do you do that in a way that makes your message “easy to follow” magnetically attracting them to your cause? We’re going to take a look at that.So in each of these three things, I’m going to give you one or two key ideas to take with you. And for starters, I want to send you home with the single most important question anybody’s going to ask you about your case.Master this one question, you take a quantum leap in ability to gain what you want for yourself and for your children.. This is the single most important question because the right answer to it, as I’ll demonstrate, is the key to the father’s rights vault. It doesn’t just marginally increase your chances, it multiplies them far beyond the ability of most father’s to even conceive. It’s that important. And I’ll give you a model, a demonstration.Now the technical term for the answer to this question is what differentiates you from all others, direct and indirect. And here’s the question. Why should the judge Guardian Ad Litem or Evaluators, give you what you’re asking for versus doing what they usually do – going along with the Mother? Why should they choose to do business with you, so to speak, versus any and every other option available to them? And when you have a great answer to that question, you can turn things upside-down.
How Passion, Overcoming Fear of the Unknown and Persistence Can Turn Your Case Into A Father’s Rights Winning Machine
In Lesson 1 we talked about being prepared, now, I’m going to give you a model to use to take that one step further. A model of one of the best approaches a Father can use in seeking his rights and those of his children. And, here’s the model:You must be prepared in writing prior to the hearing in such a manner that your paperwork is professional in every regard; so that it looks and smells and feels just like what “they’re” used to looking at. Then, you must overcome any fear or apprehension that you may have by presenting your message with an “impassioned emotional approach,” while letting “all” involved know that you’ll never give up! That’s it!
So what you want to do with this model is lay it down next to your own situation, and see how it compares. And, if it doesn’t compare very well, then this one’s a good place to start to build an unbeatable case.All too often, we as father’s are defeated before we begin. We listen to everyone tell us that we can’t win and that it’s no use. But, nothing could be further from the truth. I have an arsenal of father’s that have won “all” or most of what they wanted with their kids and regarding all other aspects of their cases; all by following the above model.
On the strength of this model many father’s not only almost immediately turned their cases around, but multiplied their successes. Pretty soon, some even dominated their cases and won custody. This unique model has been so powerful – think about this – that for many father’s you could go anywhere in the courthouse or in the legal community in which they reside, picking people at random and chances are they would know these father’s. This is what a good job they’ve done and how “convicted” they were about what they wanted and what was right for them and for their children. Believe me, word gets around when you’re “pushy” for the right reasons!If we go to your courthouse tomorrow and ask people about you and most instantly respond by telling us about you, how persistent you are and what a great job you do, what’s your case going to look like? That’s called case dominance. That’s what many father’s achieve. They turn their cases upside-down and had the opposing side trying to catch up. You can do it too, with the leverage the above model will give you.Now, if you’ve used portions of the model previously, that’s all well and good. But what I’ve said should hopefully motivate you not just to guess and shrug, but to want to microscopically analyze this “entire model” to find clues that you can use to strengthen your own case.So the first little homework assignment is to think about why should the court and others give you what you want versus granting the opposing side what they want? How’s your answer? How’s your message?
Second, let’s just assume you figured all that out. Let’s assume you’ve got a great case message. At its core is passion and persistence. We’re excited about getting it into court, mediation or to others that need to hear our message. It’s so good we’re ready to take on whatever the court system throws at us. Here’s the next challenge: The world’s greatest case message is no better than the world’s worst case message if it’s shouted at deaf ears. We do this a lot. Most father’s are not any more sophisticated about pleading their cases than they were two decades ago. In fact, here’s the level of sophistication that most father’s unfortunately settle for. Print up some sloppily written paperwork and argue that what’s happening “just ain’t fair!” Now they go to court and hope. We can do better. And in lesson 3, I'll reveal how and why we can easily do better. www.fathershelphotline.com
The Most Important Question You Must Ask Yourself
The first main issue regarding Father’s rights is delivering the “right” message. What is that message, “your” message? What do you say to the court, to the opposing side and to all concerned, including potential evaluators, that is compelling, that is magnetic, that cannot be ignored, that must be responded to? Do you have a great message? We’re going to ask some questions and find out.Secondly, who do you say it to, and by deliberate strategy who do you not say it to? Being efficient in your case. Are you efficient? Are you smart about this? Or are you throwing mud against the wall? We’re going to ask some questions and find out. And third, the “packaging”, how are you prepared to deliver the message to the recipients? Do you do that effectively? Do you do that efficiently? Do you do that in a way that makes your message “easy to follow” magnetically attracting them to your cause? We’re going to take a look at that.So in each of these three things, I’m going to give you one or two key ideas to take with you. And for starters, I want to send you home with the single most important question anybody’s going to ask you about your case.Master this one question, you take a quantum leap in ability to gain what you want for yourself and for your children.. This is the single most important question because the right answer to it, as I’ll demonstrate, is the key to the father’s rights vault. It doesn’t just marginally increase your chances, it multiplies them far beyond the ability of most father’s to even conceive. It’s that important. And I’ll give you a model, a demonstration.Now the technical term for the answer to this question is what differentiates you from all others, direct and indirect. And here’s the question. Why should the judge Guardian Ad Litem or Evaluators, give you what you’re asking for versus doing what they usually do – going along with the Mother? Why should they choose to do business with you, so to speak, versus any and every other option available to them? And when you have a great answer to that question, you can turn things upside-down.
How Passion, Overcoming Fear of the Unknown and Persistence Can Turn Your Case Into A Father’s Rights Winning Machine
In Lesson 1 we talked about being prepared, now, I’m going to give you a model to use to take that one step further. A model of one of the best approaches a Father can use in seeking his rights and those of his children. And, here’s the model:You must be prepared in writing prior to the hearing in such a manner that your paperwork is professional in every regard; so that it looks and smells and feels just like what “they’re” used to looking at. Then, you must overcome any fear or apprehension that you may have by presenting your message with an “impassioned emotional approach,” while letting “all” involved know that you’ll never give up! That’s it!
So what you want to do with this model is lay it down next to your own situation, and see how it compares. And, if it doesn’t compare very well, then this one’s a good place to start to build an unbeatable case.All too often, we as father’s are defeated before we begin. We listen to everyone tell us that we can’t win and that it’s no use. But, nothing could be further from the truth. I have an arsenal of father’s that have won “all” or most of what they wanted with their kids and regarding all other aspects of their cases; all by following the above model.
On the strength of this model many father’s not only almost immediately turned their cases around, but multiplied their successes. Pretty soon, some even dominated their cases and won custody. This unique model has been so powerful – think about this – that for many father’s you could go anywhere in the courthouse or in the legal community in which they reside, picking people at random and chances are they would know these father’s. This is what a good job they’ve done and how “convicted” they were about what they wanted and what was right for them and for their children. Believe me, word gets around when you’re “pushy” for the right reasons!If we go to your courthouse tomorrow and ask people about you and most instantly respond by telling us about you, how persistent you are and what a great job you do, what’s your case going to look like? That’s called case dominance. That’s what many father’s achieve. They turn their cases upside-down and had the opposing side trying to catch up. You can do it too, with the leverage the above model will give you.Now, if you’ve used portions of the model previously, that’s all well and good. But what I’ve said should hopefully motivate you not just to guess and shrug, but to want to microscopically analyze this “entire model” to find clues that you can use to strengthen your own case.So the first little homework assignment is to think about why should the court and others give you what you want versus granting the opposing side what they want? How’s your answer? How’s your message?
Second, let’s just assume you figured all that out. Let’s assume you’ve got a great case message. At its core is passion and persistence. We’re excited about getting it into court, mediation or to others that need to hear our message. It’s so good we’re ready to take on whatever the court system throws at us. Here’s the next challenge: The world’s greatest case message is no better than the world’s worst case message if it’s shouted at deaf ears. We do this a lot. Most father’s are not any more sophisticated about pleading their cases than they were two decades ago. In fact, here’s the level of sophistication that most father’s unfortunately settle for. Print up some sloppily written paperwork and argue that what’s happening “just ain’t fair!” Now they go to court and hope. We can do better. And in lesson 3, I'll reveal how and why we can easily do better. www.fathershelphotline.com
The Electrifying Power Of "Perseverance
Lesson 1
The Electrifying Power Of "Perseverance"
In this 7-part course, I'm going to give specific, usable, 1-2-3 Father's Rights strategies that apply to any Father, in any situation, that have you seeing results in your case within 90 days or less. I’m going to give you one complete strategy you can use exactly as I describe it to you at the end of this course, that you will be able to go and apply and I can make a virtual certain bet that none of you are using it exactly as I will describe it to you, but that most of you can. And again, you will be able to see results in your case in 90 days or less as a result.
So we’re going to do some real practical stuff. I am here to help you "improve" your case, spend more time with your kids and reduce your child support to the lowest possible level.
There are a couple of things I ‘d like you to know about me before we get rolling. One: There are a lot of what I call the “pretend experts,” the folks who live in their past, remembering cases only in their nightmares, and now "litter" the internet telling father's how to do what it is that even they haven't done. It's a whole lot easier to write a book than it is to do it. Or, that they did it so long ago that their information just no longer matters.
I only make speeches or give interviews about 4-5 times a year. It’s only a small part of my life. The rest of my life is like yours. It’s in the real world, dealing with clients who have "real life" problems with child support, custody issues and "nasty" X wives.......major "life" issues. Everything we talk about here today will be reality-based, not theory-based and patterned after the vicarious experiences of other Father's who were in the same position as you may be in today; and, that is very important!
Do You Hate These Things Too?
I have two hate lists for you that pretty much summarize where we’re going to go in this course. If you're involved in a case and sign a child support check every month, then one of the key things on your list of things that you hate should be being what I call a “wallet with legs.” When I say that, you should get a mental picture. That’s when you get the big, black checkbook out and you sign one of those checks over to your "X", and you know that it's not going to the kids but to support "her" lifestyle.
I had that same queasy feeling when I signed that check. Bet you do, too. Going to show you how to reduce or eliminate it, how to make every dollar you spend on support count as much as possible for your kids; making every dollar trackable, accountable, measurable, and come back to you in the form of peace of mind!
If you aren't the primary parent for your kids through no fault of your own, number one on your hate list should be the "X" telling you what to do with the kids on your time or, otherwise, frustrating your access to them!! An old friend of mine would call that "controlling" and "rude." I agree! There's nothing pleasant about the process of trying to talk to the "X" on a reasonable basis when she sticks her nose into everything you do with the kids and tries to keep them from you on a frequent basis --- acting as those they're her personal possessions --- at least emotionally, if not physically. The conflict causes you to back away from the kids faster than moving towards them.
I grew up in the Detroit Michigan, where the Winter's are cold and the salt on the streets in the Winter corrodes your car. And to me, dealing with the "X" on these issues is like dealing with a corroded car in the dead of Winter. It’s frigid work and corrodes your heart. So regardless of what you have done before, as a result of what we do in this course you should never have to deal with these situations again as long as you live. I’m going to show you how to eliminate them, as much as possible, from your existence and change the way you interact with the "X" …..spending more time with your kids.
“From Annoying Pest To Welcome Guest”
One quick story to set the stage for where we’re going to go, then we’ll roll up our sleeves and get to work. This story gets us acquainted and sets our direction.
In my business I work with many different kinds of people, intelligent, average, dumb, those that speak English, those that don't, those that have court experience, those that don't and people everywhere in between.
So, generally, the question almost always come up "How can I do this myself, I don't feel comfortable in court?"
I remember years ago, I was working with a nice fellow from the Philippines who could barely speak English and who acted scared as hell of going to court because of it! One of the things that I do most often is act as a kind of cheerleader trying to convince father's that they "can" do this as long as they're prepared. It doesn't matter if you can speak English or not, or even if you're scared as hell. If you're prepared, in writing and package your case correctly, you'll do as well as anyone.
So, this guy spends a great deal of time writing up a responsive declaration to a restraining order that his wife is trying to obtain against him. He also responds to her false and/or grossly distorted allegations involving parenting and divorce, serves everything correctly...to all the right parties and files everything correctly at the different departments of the court. He goes to court with the following strategy.....he says to the judge "your honor, I'm a little nervous today, so I've taken the time to put everything I have to say in writing." "If you have any questions, your honor, please ask me."
Well, here's what happens, because the guy spoke very little English, acted nervous and had the "guts" to be there in the first place, the judge actually began helping him out...actually jumping on his side, chewing out the "X" wife for bringing such an outrageous request before the court and scolding her for trying to keep the kids from him. The judge not only gave him what he wanted, he asked if it was enough! True story!
Amazing....not really...no matter what your situation, whether child support, visitation, custody, modifications of child support, custody or visitation modifications, divorce, wage garnishments, drivers license suspensions or other father's rights issues, take heart in knowing that preparation is the key! Becoming aware of basic court rules and procedures and, coupled together with a little ambition….writing up a basic response…..can work wonders in your case. Really!
Now, here’s what’s instructive. Here’s what’s useful.
At that precise moment in court for my Philippino friend, he went from being the most annoying pest to the most welcomed guest ever to visit the courtroom, because he was there with a sincere, well prepared, message at just the right moment in time. Now, the reason it’s instructive is because know it or not, acknowledge it or not, like hearing it or not, the vast majority of the time that you try and communicate with your " X", her attorney or the court you are categorized as a pest, not as the most welcomed guest of the day, week, month or year. And I’m here to tell you that if you discover how to change that – I call it addressing the first square on the father's rights game board – if you change that, you automatically change everything. Everything else suddenly gets easy if you become what we call a “can-do father's rights advocate.”But other than that, here’s my contention. If you want to increase the odds of improving your case, if you want to spend more time with your kids, if you want to protect your assets and give her a higher percentage of the debts, if you want to establish paternity with a full set of father's rights, if you want to pay as little child support as possible and make certain that what you do pay goes to the kids, you don’t do it with a slick presentation and a new magic seven-word manipulative phrase you pop out of your mouth at the hearing like Perry Mason. You do it from the beginning of the process with preparation and the will to persevere! And, if you become a "can-do father's rights advocate'" as we’re going to talk about, then your odds of success goes way up without improving your legal knowledge whatsoever and ..without an attorney if you so choose..But if you want to remain too scared to try, that’s fine. My contention, though, is if you want to improve your personal case, you don’t need experience and you don't necessarily need an attorney. Instead, what you do is become a welcomed-guest in the court room by being prepared, in writing prior to the hearing. This shows respect for the court's process and the court becomes more prone to grant what you're asking for.So that’s what we're all about. That’s what we do for our clients....we prepare them for court by giving them as much legal information as possible. Not legal advice, just solid legal information based upon what other successful father's have done in their situations. Every time we do it and build a relationship with a new client, we cover three main issues. We deal with three steps. I’m going to run you through them very quickly in lesson 2. www.fathershelphotline.com
The Electrifying Power Of "Perseverance"
In this 7-part course, I'm going to give specific, usable, 1-2-3 Father's Rights strategies that apply to any Father, in any situation, that have you seeing results in your case within 90 days or less. I’m going to give you one complete strategy you can use exactly as I describe it to you at the end of this course, that you will be able to go and apply and I can make a virtual certain bet that none of you are using it exactly as I will describe it to you, but that most of you can. And again, you will be able to see results in your case in 90 days or less as a result.
So we’re going to do some real practical stuff. I am here to help you "improve" your case, spend more time with your kids and reduce your child support to the lowest possible level.
There are a couple of things I ‘d like you to know about me before we get rolling. One: There are a lot of what I call the “pretend experts,” the folks who live in their past, remembering cases only in their nightmares, and now "litter" the internet telling father's how to do what it is that even they haven't done. It's a whole lot easier to write a book than it is to do it. Or, that they did it so long ago that their information just no longer matters.
I only make speeches or give interviews about 4-5 times a year. It’s only a small part of my life. The rest of my life is like yours. It’s in the real world, dealing with clients who have "real life" problems with child support, custody issues and "nasty" X wives.......major "life" issues. Everything we talk about here today will be reality-based, not theory-based and patterned after the vicarious experiences of other Father's who were in the same position as you may be in today; and, that is very important!
Do You Hate These Things Too?
I have two hate lists for you that pretty much summarize where we’re going to go in this course. If you're involved in a case and sign a child support check every month, then one of the key things on your list of things that you hate should be being what I call a “wallet with legs.” When I say that, you should get a mental picture. That’s when you get the big, black checkbook out and you sign one of those checks over to your "X", and you know that it's not going to the kids but to support "her" lifestyle.
I had that same queasy feeling when I signed that check. Bet you do, too. Going to show you how to reduce or eliminate it, how to make every dollar you spend on support count as much as possible for your kids; making every dollar trackable, accountable, measurable, and come back to you in the form of peace of mind!
If you aren't the primary parent for your kids through no fault of your own, number one on your hate list should be the "X" telling you what to do with the kids on your time or, otherwise, frustrating your access to them!! An old friend of mine would call that "controlling" and "rude." I agree! There's nothing pleasant about the process of trying to talk to the "X" on a reasonable basis when she sticks her nose into everything you do with the kids and tries to keep them from you on a frequent basis --- acting as those they're her personal possessions --- at least emotionally, if not physically. The conflict causes you to back away from the kids faster than moving towards them.
I grew up in the Detroit Michigan, where the Winter's are cold and the salt on the streets in the Winter corrodes your car. And to me, dealing with the "X" on these issues is like dealing with a corroded car in the dead of Winter. It’s frigid work and corrodes your heart. So regardless of what you have done before, as a result of what we do in this course you should never have to deal with these situations again as long as you live. I’m going to show you how to eliminate them, as much as possible, from your existence and change the way you interact with the "X" …..spending more time with your kids.
“From Annoying Pest To Welcome Guest”
One quick story to set the stage for where we’re going to go, then we’ll roll up our sleeves and get to work. This story gets us acquainted and sets our direction.
In my business I work with many different kinds of people, intelligent, average, dumb, those that speak English, those that don't, those that have court experience, those that don't and people everywhere in between.
So, generally, the question almost always come up "How can I do this myself, I don't feel comfortable in court?"
I remember years ago, I was working with a nice fellow from the Philippines who could barely speak English and who acted scared as hell of going to court because of it! One of the things that I do most often is act as a kind of cheerleader trying to convince father's that they "can" do this as long as they're prepared. It doesn't matter if you can speak English or not, or even if you're scared as hell. If you're prepared, in writing and package your case correctly, you'll do as well as anyone.
So, this guy spends a great deal of time writing up a responsive declaration to a restraining order that his wife is trying to obtain against him. He also responds to her false and/or grossly distorted allegations involving parenting and divorce, serves everything correctly...to all the right parties and files everything correctly at the different departments of the court. He goes to court with the following strategy.....he says to the judge "your honor, I'm a little nervous today, so I've taken the time to put everything I have to say in writing." "If you have any questions, your honor, please ask me."
Well, here's what happens, because the guy spoke very little English, acted nervous and had the "guts" to be there in the first place, the judge actually began helping him out...actually jumping on his side, chewing out the "X" wife for bringing such an outrageous request before the court and scolding her for trying to keep the kids from him. The judge not only gave him what he wanted, he asked if it was enough! True story!
Amazing....not really...no matter what your situation, whether child support, visitation, custody, modifications of child support, custody or visitation modifications, divorce, wage garnishments, drivers license suspensions or other father's rights issues, take heart in knowing that preparation is the key! Becoming aware of basic court rules and procedures and, coupled together with a little ambition….writing up a basic response…..can work wonders in your case. Really!
Now, here’s what’s instructive. Here’s what’s useful.
At that precise moment in court for my Philippino friend, he went from being the most annoying pest to the most welcomed guest ever to visit the courtroom, because he was there with a sincere, well prepared, message at just the right moment in time. Now, the reason it’s instructive is because know it or not, acknowledge it or not, like hearing it or not, the vast majority of the time that you try and communicate with your " X", her attorney or the court you are categorized as a pest, not as the most welcomed guest of the day, week, month or year. And I’m here to tell you that if you discover how to change that – I call it addressing the first square on the father's rights game board – if you change that, you automatically change everything. Everything else suddenly gets easy if you become what we call a “can-do father's rights advocate.”But other than that, here’s my contention. If you want to increase the odds of improving your case, if you want to spend more time with your kids, if you want to protect your assets and give her a higher percentage of the debts, if you want to establish paternity with a full set of father's rights, if you want to pay as little child support as possible and make certain that what you do pay goes to the kids, you don’t do it with a slick presentation and a new magic seven-word manipulative phrase you pop out of your mouth at the hearing like Perry Mason. You do it from the beginning of the process with preparation and the will to persevere! And, if you become a "can-do father's rights advocate'" as we’re going to talk about, then your odds of success goes way up without improving your legal knowledge whatsoever and ..without an attorney if you so choose..But if you want to remain too scared to try, that’s fine. My contention, though, is if you want to improve your personal case, you don’t need experience and you don't necessarily need an attorney. Instead, what you do is become a welcomed-guest in the court room by being prepared, in writing prior to the hearing. This shows respect for the court's process and the court becomes more prone to grant what you're asking for.So that’s what we're all about. That’s what we do for our clients....we prepare them for court by giving them as much legal information as possible. Not legal advice, just solid legal information based upon what other successful father's have done in their situations. Every time we do it and build a relationship with a new client, we cover three main issues. We deal with three steps. I’m going to run you through them very quickly in lesson 2. www.fathershelphotline.com
FREE Fathers Rights Introductory Course
Go to www.fathersrightsinfo.com to sign up for your FREE Fathers Rights Introductory Course. Gives you a solid foundation for your case.
Great introduction to the Fathers Rights Protection System found at www.fathershelphotline.com
Dennis
Great introduction to the Fathers Rights Protection System found at www.fathershelphotline.com
Dennis
Fathers Rights Protection System
Check out the Fathers Rights Protection System at www.fathershelphotline.com .
The system takes you through everything that has to do with Fathers Rights and contains over 1,000 pages of Fathers Rights materials in EBook format.
Questions?
Call (206) 650-0250
Dennis Gac
The system takes you through everything that has to do with Fathers Rights and contains over 1,000 pages of Fathers Rights materials in EBook format.
Questions?
Call (206) 650-0250
Dennis Gac
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